8:22 pm
We are observing the one year anniversary of Amanda's boob getting taken off, so we ordered two family-size orders of
breadsticks, took edibles, and started watching Love is Blind: Brazil
with the English dub, because Ray said it's comedy gold. So let's see
how this goes. Undoubtedly I'll be posting updates below.
8:26 pm
Oh my. Oh my. This is...really something.
8:32 pm
This
show was made by forcing a Neural Network to read 10,000,000 work
emails at a dish soap office and then asking it to write a Hallmark
movie.
8:33 pm
These voiceovers were recorded by the text-to-speech tool in Apple's SimpleText app circa 1996.
8:40 pm
"What is the purpose of this experiment?!" Girl that line just elevated this trash to almost David Lynchian levels.
8:41 pm
jexus this took a sudden sharp dark turn. out of nowhere WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE WAR IN IRAN?
8:42 pm
"Fuck, Wanda Terra!" whoaaaat did i hear that right?!
8:42 pm
okay i forgot i ha dtaken an edible and now i remembered
8:43 pm
we have killed the first family-sized order of breadsticks
8:44 pm
we have already lost entire perspective of how many contestants there are on this show or who any of these people are
8:46 pm
thought that dude had a hammer and sickle tattoed on his leg for a second ther
8:49 pm
is this dude CRYING or is he HIGH
is this dude CRYING or is he HIGH
8:50 pm
man
this voice cast is incredible actually. they deliver every line in the
most flat monotone, right up until they see a line coming that could
become SUDDENLY FUCKING EXISTENTIAL with the right intonation and then
they FUCKING GO FOR IT
8:50 pm
"we have a cryer here. we have a cryer here."
"we have a cryer here. we have a cryer here."
8:51 pm
this crying guy looks like a cross between Simon Neil and the Brawny paper towels mascot
this crying guy looks like a cross between Simon Neil and the Brawny paper towels mascot
8:55 pm
"a firmness"
"a firmness"
8:56 pm
"AND HE THREW COLD WATER ALL OVER MY PLANTS!"
"AND HE THREW COLD WATER ALL OVER MY PLANTS!"
8:59 pm
is this
are there episodes
how many episodes have we watched? is this a feature film? I feel like we've been watching this for 2 or 3 hours
-> 9:15 pm comment from Sam
This is by far my favorite comment because it was posted not more than 27 minutes after the first.
-> 9:36 pm reply from Trevor
i have entirely lost my grasp of linear time
9:02 pm
wait was all of this dialog ripped straight out of original 80s episodes of Voltron
9:03 pm
wait i think i've seen a clip of this before. i think that conversation about falafel was a meme.
9:07 pm
i kinda feel like the fact that all of these people are very conventionally attractive uhhh undermines the entire conceit of the show?
i kinda feel like the fact that all of these people are very conventionally attractive uhhh undermines the entire conceit of the show?
9:10 pm
this show is amazing
this show is amazing
9:11 pm
"die. die. die."
"die. die. die."
9:13 pm
i've definitely seen gifsets of this on tumblr
i've definitely seen gifsets of this on tumblr
9:16 pm
"I am afraid to wake up"
"I am afraid to wake up"
9:16 pm
You could definitely take clips from this and build a trailer for an existential horror film.
You could definitely take clips from this and build a trailer for an existential horror film.
9:16 pm
take this man, this guy, this...boy...to be your lawful wedded husband
take this man, this guy, this...boy...to be your lawful wedded husband
9:18 pm
oh my god what...okay so it's been one hour and that was one episode. A reality show, with 56 minute episodes?! What is happening? Also they ran the entire game premise in the first episode and the dating is over after one episode and now we're...all partnered up and...dating wait where was i going with this sentence
oh my god what...okay so it's been one hour and that was one episode. A reality show, with 56 minute episodes?! What is happening? Also they ran the entire game premise in the first episode and the dating is over after one episode and now we're...all partnered up and...dating wait where was i going with this sentence
9:18 pm
in the words of Lal, "HE'S BITING THAT FEMALE!"
in the words of Lal, "HE'S BITING THAT FEMALE!"
9:19 pm
oh jesus did the voiceover actors just try to ADR kissing noises
oh jesus did the voiceover actors just try to ADR kissing noises
9:21 pm
you made that noise by putting a suction cup in your own mouth
you made that noise by putting a suction cup in your own mouth
9:21 pm
Amanda is mimicking the sucking noises
Amanda is mimicking the sucking noises
9:22 pm
wait did the middle of this episode just abandon the whole cast and start over with a new one
wait did the middle of this episode just abandon the whole cast and start over with a new one
9:22 pm
what's happening
9:23 pm
who are these people
who are these people
9:24 pm
wait these are the same people...some of them?
wait these are the same people...some of them?
9:34 pm
why is this guy laughing so hard while he's telling the story of pulling the plug on his dad's life support???
why is this guy laughing so hard while he's telling the story of pulling the plug on his dad's life support???
9:34 pm
if these two get together at the end, when the go out walking in public, people would think they're Thom Yorke and Lady Gaga
if these two get together at the end, when the go out walking in public, people would think they're Thom Yorke and Lady Gaga
9:37 pm
if this guy is crying it's because the 2nd AD pepper sprayed him before they rolled
if this guy is crying it's because the 2nd AD pepper sprayed him before they rolled
9:38 pm
okay i swear we've seen this part already
9:38 pm
"i'm holding the wall as if it were you"
"i'm holding the wall as if it were you"
9:40 pm
they photoshopped that sound effect
they photoshopped that sound effect
9:41 pm
i
want the doors to open on one of these face to face meeting segments -
which is this the end of the episode or what? - i want those doors to
open and have them immediately realize they are long-lost twins
"What do you fear most?"
"I know that one day i will lose my mom."
[What It's Like by Everlast starts playing]
9:53 pm
alright so we already know that when i'm high i separate from the flow of linear time. but i'm pretty sure this show is edited nonlinearly and they're actually moving back and forth from the beginning to the end of the experiment and back to the beginning and to the end again, over and over, but exploring a different facet of the experiment each time. and that's a pretty unfair thing of them to do to me in this state
alright so we already know that when i'm high i separate from the flow of linear time. but i'm pretty sure this show is edited nonlinearly and they're actually moving back and forth from the beginning to the end of the experiment and back to the beginning and to the end again, over and over, but exploring a different facet of the experiment each time. and that's a pretty unfair thing of them to do to me in this state
9:54 pm
amanda has lost her battle for cnoscioiusness
9:56 pm
9:56 pm
some of this cinematography looks like a documentary team watched too many Zak Snyder films
i filmed sushi in a room like that once
9:59 pm
english voiceover, in a Ben Stein voice: "And i was sure that i was the happiest man in the world."
contestant
on screen, original Portuguese audio very low in the mix: [screaming,
literally cupping his hands around his mouth and screaming][no words
just screaming]
10:00 pm
"i will keep you as my Top One"
"i will keep you as my Top One"
10:00 pm
woman: "Last year i thought i had cancer, but i didn't."
man: "I am your fan."
10:01 pm
"you're feisty, and i find that attractive about you."
"i am NOT FEISTY!"
10:02 pm
there have been several moments during this where a line is dropped that i just want to follow up with Divinyls lyrics
there have been several moments during this where a line is dropped that i just want to follow up with Divinyls lyrics
10:03 pm
10:04 pm
this woman is Latina Winona Ryder
this woman is Latina Winona Ryder
10:05 pm
not like, young Winona Ryder though. she looks like if old Winona Ryder (like in Stranger Things) was young. does that
not like, young Winona Ryder though. she looks like if old Winona Ryder (like in Stranger Things) was young. does that
10:05 pm
"uhhh. every time i come here my heart goes uhhh."
"uhhh. every time i come here my heart goes uhhh."
10:10 pm
oh my god
every
time they have one of these backstage, uhh, fucken, locker room type
moments between the dating-in-pods sections, where all the guys get to
hang out together and all the ladies get to hang out togehter, i just
keep thinking, which of these bros are falling for each other? these
dudes have great chemistry together. i want it. i want one of the
couples that come out of this to be two dudes that had their real sexual
awakening backstage on this show.
maybe i spend too much time on tumblr
10:10 pm
"WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT FERNANDA TERRA"
"WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT FERNANDA TERRA"
10:10 pm
10:12 pm
"in only four weeks. our lovebirds. will get married." That voiceover definitely sounded like a PBS nature documentary
"in only four weeks. our lovebirds. will get married." That voiceover definitely sounded like a PBS nature documentary
10:13 pm
alright Amanda's been out for a while now, i'm gonna switch it over to Bob's Burgers.
@ray thank you for an enchanting evening
10:14 pm
i am a prolific shitposter
